22.11.08 to 23.11.08

Is this the way my life should be?
Why do i have to go through this again?
He kept telling me that I'm selfish.
But I'm not! I always think of him. Always wonder if he miss me.
He said I'm selfish because I woke him up from sleep.
He said I'm selfish because I did not come to his house after I woke up.
He said I'm selfish because I always ask him to do stuff for me.
Why does he have to do that? Why?
He hurts me more everyday..
Ya I love him.so much.
But sometimes.all I feel for him is just emptiness.
Everytime he hurts me,everytime he said words that hurt me deeply,that is what I feel for him.
Emptiness.
And the pain he cause me. It's like death over and over again.
I just feel like as if someone took a sharp razor and slice my heart slowly over and over again.
That is the best description I can give. It just hurts so much.
And the sad thing is that I can't change any of it. I can't do anything to stop him hurting me.
Stop him causing me so much pain.
I don't think he knows that he's causing me so much pain.
I love him but he can be very rude and insensitive to me.
All I ask for is just abit more attention from him.
He doesn't care about what i need.
He doesn't care about what i said.
He doesn't care about what i feel.
And the worst part, I can't tell him all these.
I can't tell him I'm hurt or whatever.
The pain he cause if I tell him that is twice,thrice as bad.
So I be better off shutting my feelings up.
All I will try to do that as long as I could.

Goodnight now love. Sleep tight.





*I dedicate this blog just for ME and only me. All about my feelings and thoughts.*